Creating

I've figured out what I want to do with my life. I know, I know, I'm a thirty-two year old woman and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up? It's a big decision. Some people are destined for a particular career or path and they know it from, you know ... birth. But, the rest of us struggle to figure it out, or in some cases just move along down the path letting the universe push us around. Well, my struggle is not completely over, but I do know that I want to "Create".

I know, I know, what the hell is that supposed to mean? Well, it means that I want to stop envying and start doing. If no financial windfall comes my way from doing what I want to do then so be it. And, again, what is it that I want to do when I grow up? Create? Well, I've always had a fascination with photography, writing, exploring, and more and more I'm enjoying cooking and gardening. I spent time this weekend chopping up veggies and using the stove to cook up a meal and I LOVED IT! I spent time putting together a selection of music to play at my wedding reception and loved it. I spent time editing photos and loved it. I want the space to grow a garden. I know I'll love it. My hands may get raw and my back may feel painful, but I want to use this body and brain that I have to create and produce not only things that please me, but things that nourish and inspire others.

You could say that I have been doing this all along. When you work in public service as I do you are destined to create opportunities for others. But, it's a machine. There is much creativity in the environment that I work in, but there is also much regulation.

I want freedom.

I NEED to create.

I'm nothing if I stay stagnant and allow the universe to tell me what to do.