Whiplash

My head doesn't know what it's priorities are. i have so many tasks and other business to keep track of that I'm getting a little bogged down in what needs to be done first. What's the most important task on my list? Hmm, wedding planning, future mother-in-law visit planning, cooking dinner, laundry, shopping for running shoes and other clothes? AACKK!

I'm going to forget something. Right now, as I'm sitting here, I'm realizing that I should be working on a few invitation issues instead of, oh, I don't know ... blogging. I have to start cooking dinner soon too. The only probably with that tiny cooking plan is that I don't know when Alejandro is going to be back home. I don't want to make something that doesn't reheat well. Oh well, it'll be his loss.

AACKKK! I'm just going to dive into it and we'll see what happens. It's the only way to solve priority problems like this. I always seem to have too many irons in the fire so I'll muddle through somehow. I just have to avoid contracting the grouchies along the way. That's the truly hard part.

The Gym

I just got back from the gym. It wasn't one of those over the top, Biggest Loser, get ripped on steroids kind of workouts, No, my workouts make my blood run smoother through my veins and my muscles and bones stronger and more tuned into each other.

I'm no super model. And I look like a dork in my gym clothes. But the process of walking on the treadmill and doing a little strength training helps me work out the kinks in my trunk after a long day of stress. It helps me to process my thoughts and move forward in my thinking.

For a good long while I have been going to the gym sporadically. I had no goals in mind. I started going to a gym years ago to meet people and attempt to socialize. It didn't work very well, but I gained a few pounds of muscle. Then I met Alejandro and my gym schedule got all out of whack.

So, now, six weeks before I get married, and a week after Indy's last mini-marathon, I have decided to go to the gym more regularly. To be frank, I am a well-endowed woman and I have more back pain than I care to deal with. I need to make my trunk stronger and my posture better. And, it wouldn't hurt to lose just a few pounds before I wear my wedding dress. It fits perfectly, but it's a teensy bit tight. If I don't lose any weight before the big day I have no worries, but I do worry about the chronic back pain. I NEED to strengthen my chest, back, and abdominal muscles if I'm going to be able to hold my head held high when I am eighty years old.

To that end, much attention will be paid to those muscle groups in the gym. I'm also going to register for next year's mini-marathon and get that little feat off my list of things to do before I die. I can't say that I am overly enthused about pushing my body to the limit in a marathon, but I really shouldn't knock it before I try it should I?

I don't like to run. It's bad for your knees and it feels awkward running with a couple of boobs flapping around. I wear sports bras, but they can only do so much before they start to be more painful to wear than helpful to wear. So, I have to figure out how to do this walking, and still meet the time demands for the marathon. I think I can do it. The first step is to register, and tonight I think I'm gonna do it.

Creating

I've figured out what I want to do with my life. I know, I know, I'm a thirty-two year old woman and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up? It's a big decision. Some people are destined for a particular career or path and they know it from, you know ... birth. But, the rest of us struggle to figure it out, or in some cases just move along down the path letting the universe push us around. Well, my struggle is not completely over, but I do know that I want to "Create".

I know, I know, what the hell is that supposed to mean? Well, it means that I want to stop envying and start doing. If no financial windfall comes my way from doing what I want to do then so be it. And, again, what is it that I want to do when I grow up? Create? Well, I've always had a fascination with photography, writing, exploring, and more and more I'm enjoying cooking and gardening. I spent time this weekend chopping up veggies and using the stove to cook up a meal and I LOVED IT! I spent time putting together a selection of music to play at my wedding reception and loved it. I spent time editing photos and loved it. I want the space to grow a garden. I know I'll love it. My hands may get raw and my back may feel painful, but I want to use this body and brain that I have to create and produce not only things that please me, but things that nourish and inspire others.

You could say that I have been doing this all along. When you work in public service as I do you are destined to create opportunities for others. But, it's a machine. There is much creativity in the environment that I work in, but there is also much regulation.

I want freedom.

I NEED to create.

I'm nothing if I stay stagnant and allow the universe to tell me what to do.

Weekend Cooking

I have been on a cooking kick for the longest time. Sometimes I just like to gawk at the culinary creations of others, but in the past couple weeks I have really had the cooking bug. I bought The Pioneer Woman Cooks cookbook by Ree Drummond and I have been venturing into her world of Oklahoma ranch recipes. I've collected oodles and gobs of cookbooks and recipes over the years, but this one is definitely the epitome of country cooking. Last weekend I made the Pioneer Woman recipe for "Migas", a tex-mex version of eggs with veggies and tortillas. It was tasty. However, the breakfast potato recipe was the best.

For dinner and lunches this week I made my mothers recipe for vegetable soup. I change the recipe a bit every time I make it. I like to experiment with different ingredients, but somehow it always ends up tasting about the same. Yum!

I found another recipe for chicken salad that involved the use of curry. Alejandro wanted to try it so I made the salad for our lunches this week. On Monday I took it to work and ate half of the salad before I gave up. It was a blend of chicken, grapes, apple, almonds and a couple other ingredients including curry. The flavors of the salad were just too varied and didn't really jive with my stomach. I blame the curry for putting me over the edge. For some reason I have never been able to consume this Indian spice without having a slight heart palpitation or yuck reflex. The chicken salad is Alejandro's to eat.

We have so much laftover food from last weekend's cooking that I don't think we have much room left in the fridge for more. That won't stop me though. I want to cook! It's an adventure.

Getting Married

I'm getting married! Alejandro proposed in September and now here we are, 51 days until the wedding on June 26th. We're getting hitched in Colorado. I've never wanted to be gawked at by 100 people during a wedding ceremony, so we're limiting the audience. I invited everyone on our list of around 78 people, but naturally, I don't expect the majority of them to show up. Not only are we a shy bride and groom, but we felt it was necessary to make it equally difficult to get to the wedding by all family members. Alejandro's family is in Costa Rica and Venezuela and many cannot travel to the US for a variety of reasons. So, here we are, ready to take the plunge in the mountains of Colorado.

Planning was rough at first, but once we decided where we were going it gradually got a little simpler to figure out. After we get hitched we are going to have a mostly family oriented reception back in Indianapolis. If I could get married today I would. I'm ready.

Alejandro already refers to me as his wife, or "wifey" when he wants to push my buttons. We've been living together for quite awhile. I'll be happy to move forward onto our next set of goals after we make things official.

It feels good to not have to worry about the meat market ever again. I can put my energy into other pursuits.